I am fortunate to be from a spiritual tradition that asserts we can climb any side of the mountain to reach to top - all faiths lead upward, if their teachings sincerely applied in our lives. Lately, however, I have noticed that, instead of ascending the mountain and helping others near us to do the same, some of us are walking around the mountain, hindering our own and others’ spiritual progress, for various reasons and with varying degrees of malice or delusion. I see two primary manifestations of this:
1. Attempts to convince others that our path is better, faster, easier, or the only route. This could be an effort to protect our own egos, a response to fear of the other, or, best case scenario, a consciously genuine but misguided concern for the other’s wellbeing. The truth is that very few of us are in a spiritual condition or position to influence those outside our immediate circle; we should rather focus on helping ourselves and those near us move up the mountain.
2. Attempts to throw people on the other sides of the mountain, or even sometimes right next to us, off the mountain. We discredit, apply logic to non-logical topics in order to feel superior, undermine the faith and confidence of others, and argue. This is an incredible waste of time that disrupts all spiritual progress, ours and theirs. Until we’ve been to the top, we do not know. Period. Our only job is to continue upward and to help the people around us when we can and to the best of our ability.
When we find ourselves in relationship with someone whose path we cannot respect or appreciate, it is definitely not our role to give him or her spiritual advice, or, worse, attempt to discredit the validity of his or her spirituality or express our belief that it isn’t even real spirituality. It is ALL spiritual experience, which is the goal of spirituality. The goal is already met for us all, whether we know it or not. THIS is it, NOW. We experience it for ourselves, instead of trying to deny or reshape the experiences of others.
Where we cannot reinforce their spiritual confidence or otherwise further them in ways they are in a condition to receive, we first do no harm: we leave them alone, we seek to connect them with more useful advisors, people with whom they can relate, expand, and grow. When conversing with them about spiritual matters, we talk only about our own direct experiences and only as they relate to areas of commonality. We encourage others to trust themselves and their journey. We check ourselves for: which information is relevant or necessary, where we see our egos becoming defensive or aggressive in our approach, whether we can truly offer any help or whether our spiritual seeds will perish on infertile ground or simply choke the roots of the crop. We align ourselves with the best outcome for all who suffer rather than our ego’s need to be right.
While I was in the process of formulating my approach to this essay, a friend wisely interjected, “if there is a top of the mountain.” She pointed out to me an assumption I did not even realize I had made. She reminded me that I must check myself. Additionally, she proved my point, in a certain way: it is best to try to help those who operate from a similar set of assumptions, if only to avoid semantical arguments. Yes, I concede there may be no actual limit to our path of spiritual expansion. However, for the purpose of this metaphor, let’s just suppose either there is a top to reach or that we are crossing a range of mountains and there are people who have reached the various summits and can help us, because we must have teachers.
We must learn from those ahead of us on the path, the same path, usually. While there are things that are more or less useful to us all, continuing with the metaphor, just as the weather conditions may affect all sides of the mountain, in general, it is more useful to seek help from people who climbed or are climbing the same side of the mountain. Those guides are more likely to provide relevant, sympathetic, and understandable advice. Regardless of which path we take, it is important to find a person, or preferably people, further along the road. We thrive when we surround ourselves with the caliber of person we aspire to become.
As usual, this essay is more or less written to myself, a set of guidelines I seek to follow in my own pursuit of non-violence. I want to empower and not to tear down, and I want to continue my journey without causing more struggle for myself or others. This is a tall order, because I love an argument or a good lecture; in fact, this essay emerged from a lecture I was giving myself on this very subject. I notice that, as the grosser aspects of my life become more peaceful, the violence in my words, in my need to be right (as if there is one way only), and in my attitudes becomes more visible, and the solution to it becomes both more apparent and more necessary, for my own sake. I cannot experience peace or spiritual progress while my mind indulges in petty judgments and a desire to discredit others.
P.S. I want to make clear that I apply these principles specifically to spiritual affairs. Mundane affairs, like political movements, are a little different. I do not mean that violence is acceptable in political affairs, not at all. However, in the mundane world, “helping those near you” sometimes requires discrediting the rhetoric of the opposition and/or taking actions to stop its progress. Still, those actions should be motivated by a deep desire to help others, not by a wish to destroy the opposition, and it’s a good idea to start by helping the people in our immediate vicinities.
Furthermore, I find myself troubled by certain trends I see in spiritual circles. Specifically, I have observed “spiritual people” pointedly expressing gratitude or contentment in the way things are (in response to a complaint of unfair treatment at work, for instance, saying, “I’m just grateful to have a job.”) and/or accusing victims of injustice of engaging in “negativity,” as if a refusal to take action in their defense is some spiritual high ground. It is not; it is cruel, arrogant, cowardly, and dishonest. I hear those who allegedly believe “we are all one” engage in a sort of spiritual isolationism, as if the concerns of the world have ceased to exist for them because they are so spiritually minded. While it’s wonderful to watch equanimity and detachment develop in us and to enjoy the peace we feel inside, the relevant benefit in this case is that it provides us with a better vantage point and a firm footing from which to decide and take a correct action, without the confusion and distraction of our own egos. However, a refusal to take that action (assuming we see a beneficial action to take - not always the case), from my point of view, implies failure to achieve compassion for the suffering of others, and that is a spiritual shortcoming, not spiritual high ground or enlightenment. By example, I point to every spiritual master from Jesus to to Mother Teresa, from Mohamed to the Buddha - not one reached enlightenment and then stopped helping to ease suffering in this world, on this plane. If we are not following in their footsteps, are we still on the path?